candy corn

Candy corn is in fact, a dangerously tasty treat, but damn girl. well i guess ones woman's candy corn is another woman's bacon. Ha ha guess what I like? anyway my 13 month old baby is trying to eat my 8 year old, yeah and it's a full on werewolf attack. I don't know what to do. And I know I shouldn't laugh but DAMN ITS HILARIOUS!!! p.s so far no bites just attempted. DING footballs here!!!!!!! Tomorrow is a Charger vs. Bronco game and I'll be at a baby shower,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, in a bar. Hahahaha. lets hope for the best, opposing team fans will also be there, (men's&women shower), we better not lose by that much.DING. So my dogs were never pregnant, I now believe they are evil and love to fuc* with me. There I said it, your dog might be stupid, but mine are EVIL............... I win. DING, I love commas.

Fatty fatty mcfatfat

Well, I gave up the candy corn. And I am still fat. I even look fat in a girdle. Fatter actually. Whatever. I don't even know what is going on in this body anymore. My period comes when it wants to, it doesn't obey the laws of time any more. I keep getting a mustache, and piggy chin hairs. WTF. Apparently the husband secretly finds me gross. Just found that out today. He made a comment about how fat his sister was and how great she looks now that she lost a ton of weight. His sister and I wore the same size!!! When I gave him a dirty look he realized how I took that and tried to backtrack,but the damage is done. I am not even mad. I am disgusted and embarrassed with myself. Gotta go, too fat to write right now.

Holiday Candy.

Okay so it is gone. Now I have no more candy corn. I know it is a good thing but I am still a little sad. I am not a huge candy eater, just holiday candy for some reason. Candy corn,valentine chocolates,Easter bunnies and all Christmas candy. That is something for my shrink ,right? There must be some meaning behind that.
Ding.(remember readers,DING means new subject,so we are all on the same page).
I realize I use a lot of commas. Is that annoying? Did anyone even notice?
Ding. My ankle is better today for some unexplained reason. No hot dog and meatball(please refer to yesterdays post, I am not a pervert).
Ding.
So I don't think I have lost any weight yet. Not with candy corn in the house. But tomorrow is a brand new day. A chance to start fresh and clean. I have walked Monkey the dog 3 times this week though. That's a good start.

See ya

Blah blah blah

Oh my goodness there are some mighty boring blogs on this site. I have been reading some and all I can think of is SNORE. I saw a few good ones,and I haven't read them all,so if you are reading this don't get your panties in a bunch.....I am probably not talking about yours.
Ding.
Well my ankle is still hurting. For some reason it is swollen too. But in a weird way. Kind of like if I took a really long hot dog and wrapped it from one ankle around the front to the other ankle. With a meatball on the outside ankle,(can you tell I am hungry??) It hurts off and on. Driving really hurts(it's my right ankle). It has been 2 months since I stepped in a hole at just sherry's house. I guess climbing the hill 4dozen times to fix the fence so my stupid dog would stop escaping did not help.
Ding.
Can you tell I am bored? The husband went to bed an hour ago. I am waiting for the new ghost hunters to start. Oops 2 minutes to go. gotta sign off.

snark

Candy Corn,that colorful delicious irristitable vegetable

Well apparently I cannot be trusted with candy corn. Indian corn to be precise. I was fine until I saw it in the cupboard. Then I shut the door and went upstairs and all I could think about was that damn candy corn. Literally dancing in my head,it was. So........I ATE SOME. A lot actually. About 40 little corns.LOL. That sounds funny. Little corns...still lol. I promise,as soon as it is all gone I will not buy any more.Why don't I throw it away you might be asking. It is seasonal for heavens sake. That would almost be a sin. Do you throw a big box of valentine chocolates away? Of course not. That is just crazy talk.
Ding.
Well I dyed my hair.And since I dye it red it always comes out too dark the first days. So now I have dark red purplish hair. And don't forget my white skin and freckles. I don't feel pretty right now. I think is a combination of the hair dye and the candy corn. Self loathing is not a good color on me.

signed in the color of the blessed corn,

Snarky

Yesterday was a bust....not a boob, pig,a washout

Okay I tried to be good. I went for a 15 minute walk with the dog. Ate well until 2:30 and then ate 20 pieces of candy corn,a cupcake, 10 mini pretzels, a lean cuisine and that's it until dinner. Then before I went to bed I ate 10 otter pops. What the heck? Today I walked the dog for 8 minutes(ankle problems) ate some fiber one cereal and just finished my coffee. I feel like I am not really awake yet,just put on some water for more coffee. I am going to do some maintenance today,dye my hair(I haven't dyed it since early June,ugh) do my nails. So hopefully today will be better. Wish me luck.

20 lbs by halloween

the only way I could lose 20 lbs by halloween is maybe cut off a limb.hahaha. Ok If your going to try so can I. my daughter decided to wear a dress today so no bike ride, tomorrow. I need a plan. No not Jennie Craig. I'll work on it.
DING
i must say that was a great party, no fights (only a little creapy making out) everyone had a good time, and the best part is its over.
DING
ITS HOT AND EVERYTHING IS DIRTY(INCLUDING MY MIND) MUST CLEAN NOW BYE

Labor Day

Just got back from just Sherry's house. Had a great time. Lots of people,mom,the other sister,new people too. Had a lot of fun. Now I am dusty and full.
Ding.Tomorrow is the day I start a new upgrade on my life. I want to lose 20lbs by Halloween. Gonna walk the dog for 30 minutes,lift some weights and eat my lean cuisine and vegetables,do some stretches and work in my yard.And every day I will do exercisal stuff. Is exercisal even a word? Well ,you know what I mean. Maybe a little stretching outside in the fresh air.
Ding. And no more bad words.
Okay,time for 2 and a half men. Gotta go.........

Sincerely.
snarky"I am not a wiener"blogger....